Five Good Things: Norfgate 2013 Edition
Woohoo, we won another series!!! These are the lies I will tell you to start off my uber-positive piece of “five good things”. This is because, frankly, the Padres played one of the most boring games in memory followed by an exciting contest which turned into a blowout in a blink of an eye. However I excel at putting a positive spin on all things (I put the “fun” in funeral), so here they are, five absolutely outstanding things from the short series hosting Baltimore.
5. Volquez’s Valiant Effort.
Edinson Volquez racked up another loss, bringing his record to 8-8. This would seem like a negative but we actually got a good effort from our consistently inconsistent starter. Volqui gave up six hits over six innings, allowing only two runs, both earned. He struck out six and walked two and surrendered a homerun. But when he left the Pads were down 2-0. Edinson also provided one of his best #EVHAU* of all time during postgame interviews: backwards, cockeyed, and pointing up. Good stuff.
4. Stultsy’s Satisfactory Start
Eric Stults followed Volquez’s solid loss with an even better no-decision (sigh). Eric surrendered only three runs, two earned, on five hits over seven full innings. His control was once again impeccable as he issued just one free pass while striking out six. He also surrendered a dinger, but hey, who hasn’t?
3. Yonder Alonso, Big League Hitter
I feel like I can put Yonder on the list every week mostly because he’s a rad dude. But man, he’s been putting boots to bottoms lately, so this is legit. Yo had yet another two hit game on Tuesday, including a RBI single in the sixth, which cut the Orioles’ lead in half. He reached base twice again on Wednesday, walking in the first and singling in the sixth, in which he came around to score. Alonso is now batting .297 at series end.
2. Gyork Store Is Back In Business.
After being closed for renovations for 30 games and doing limited business since mid-July, the Gyork store is open for business, and business is good. Jedd Gyorko homered for the second time in three games, this one a three-run game tying bomb in the sixth with Norf** and Yo on base. It was glorious and had the Padres crowd cheering as much as for the pizza-stealing seagulls*** from the night before. Then the Padres gave up seven runs and that was that.
1. You Say Podeno, I say Norftato
The absolute best thing that spawned out of this series came during game one on Tuesday and apparently started with the second batter in the bottom of the first and until lasted well after the game, when I caught wind of it.
With no outs and Will Venable standing on third after a leadoff triple, Chris Denorfia came to the plate prompting the usual tweets of encouragement from all our fellow Padres fans. Well @CornfedFriar made a huge mistake by calling him “Norf”. This did not sit well with @nachopadreSD and sparked the greatest**** feud in Padres fan history. He made it very clear to everyone that would hear that he should be referred to as “Deno” and not “Norf”. Not calling him “Deno” was not only incorrect, it was offensive to @DancingFriar who invented the nickname Deno way back in 2010 when the Padres called Denorfia up from AAA Portland in late May.
Things got ugly from there. It was brother against brother, mother versus daughter. Lines were drawn and it seemed inevitable that blood would be shed. It escalated well past the famous Blue against Brown battles that Padres fans are all too familiar with.
Now I’m a Norf guy and this is why. To me, Norf is not only a noun, verb, adjective but is also a way of life. I see Norf when the sun rises and sets, in the music that the wind makes when it whistles through the trees and in the eyes of all the children of this beautiful world. Norf is everywhere you look around us, but more importantly, Norf is inside each and every one of us.
So whatever nickname you chose to refer to our beloved Christopher Anthony as, remember that we are all brothers in the eyes of the Norf and infighting will only lead to our downfall. So if you call him “Deno” that’s ok, my brother. I forgive you just as the Norf would all want us to.
Until next week, Go Padres!
*Edinson Volquez Hat Angle Update
**We’ll get to this in this week’s #1 good thing
***These guys seriously were the most entertaining aspect of Tuesday night’s game.