Minor Thoughts- Robert De Niro in Canal Fear
Have you ever spent three straight days in a Panamanian hospital?…. I have some news, it’s not as fun as it sounds. That’s where I have been the last three days, and am currently sitting. Confession time: For the last three weeks, I’ve had a pretty bad stomach ache. The whole time I just assumed it would go away. What stomach ache lasts for three weeks anyway, right? Well, after two weeks, it wasn’t hard for me to notice how fatigued I was. Hell, it took everything I had in me to run out a double. And there I was, on second base, on the raggedy edge, huffing and puffing as if I had just sprinted a 5K. I mentioned it to my general manager down here: Almedo Seinz (former dodger, who’s specialty was to just hit home runs in the 8th inning. Vin Scully used to call him The Killer Tomato, and the name caught on. Almedo even gave me a Killer Tomato t-shirt). We talked about me seeing a doctor, but two days later, I woke up in truly excruciating pain. Had my teammate call my manager and tell him I needed to go to the hospital. Turned out, I had a pretty bad intestinal infection. To say the least, it’s been a rough three days.
Now, how can this situation get more interesting? I know!!!!! I don’t speak a word of Spanish. I am a complete disaster trying to communicate anything to anyone about anything. And yes, I took Spanish in high school. But Mr. Chapman, gave me C’s because he liked me. He used to tell me “Cody, you should pay attention, because you may need to know this someday”. Myself, being the young cocky kid I was (and still am) would say “PPPSSSHHH! I’m never going to need to know Spanish” followed by a sinister laugh (think: De Niro in Cape Fear). I hate to admit this, but that SOB was right! So, imagine my fun in a hospital bed, in pain, and I don’t understand what the nurses are saying… ever. But they are so nice, because they are trying so hard to communicate with me. We’ve even resorted to mock games of charades.
How else can this become fun? How about my parents flying down to Panama to see me play, the first morning I’m in the hospital, is the day they arrive… Not exactly the getaway trip they imagined. To be honest though, this is not something new to them. Here’s something that I haven’t really mentioned, when I was between the ages of 11 and 13 I was in the hospital every few days due to stomach pain. The doctors told my parents it was something different every week, because they weren’t sure what it was. Even though it was terrible, I always felt guilty for putting my parents through it. I can only imagine how hard that was on them, seeing their youngest son constantly in the hospital.
Another great thing is the hospital bed. If you don’t have back pain, you will after sleeping on this bed, which I’m pretty sure helps support scoliosis. I have knots in both of my traps…. So, my traps look huge right now, like a young Bill Goldberg. Also, being a 24 year old guy in a Panamanian hospital, with his laptop without internet access, and only Spanish speaking television to occupy my time….. Torture is a strong word……
There is some good news, however. I am currently feeling a lot better. Plenty of fatigue (probably cause I haven’t eaten in two and a half days), but no more stomach pain. They finally removed my IV, and now I am just waiting for the news that I can leave.
More good news, I am no longer out of clothing. I did my laundry last week! I was pretty frustrated about it because I didn’t (and still don’t) know how to ask where a laundromat was (really just a hose with a hair dryer would’ve sufficed at that point). Luckily, my teammate didn’t live too far away, I went to his house and took care of it. Today is a day off for the team. So even if I get out of here today, not really sure what I’m going to do. I’m sure my mom has something planned.
Sorry the blog wasn’t as funny today, but feel free to laugh at my pain and also feel free to follow me on twitter (@Decker6).
Stay gold, Pony boy…