As Jeff just pointed out, the Padres released their promotions schedule for the season. Let’s take a look and highlight the best giveaways and themes, in this writer’s eyes.

Best Giveaways (non-kids)*

April 15 vs. Braves: Floppy Hats

Floppy Hats rule. This giveaway is also on a “Throwback Thursday,” which we’ll delve into later. These games start at 3:35 pm which means you can go to the game, get an awesome hat, then hit up the Gaslamp in the aforementioned awesome hat, and almost assuredly go home with a pretty lady. All thanks to the kickass floppy hat!

May 1 vs. Brewers: Chris Young Replica Jerseys

One of the cooler items on this list. The replica jerseys are a quality giveaway that people wear more than once and actually feel  sad about if they get a chili stain on it.

May 15 vs. Dodgers: “Beat LA” T-shirts

I love it when the home team completely sticks the giveaway in the face of the opposing team. This game should be one of the first to sell-out. Oh, and the Dodgers suck!

June 12 vs. Mariners: Soccer-style Scarves

LOVE IT! If you’ve never been to a football match, then you might not be familiar with this. Fans, in addition to smoking in the stands and chanting vulgar cheers nonstop, wear colorful scarves to further show their allegiance. I went to a football game in Belgium last year and got a scarf. See below. Admit it, the scarf makes me EVEN SEXIER! Imagine a Padres one doing the same for you.

July 3 vs. Astros: Beach Towels

A yearly staple that never goes wrong. I have at least 10 from prior years that have seen a lot of beach time.

July 16 vs. D-backs : Comic-Con Night

NERDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

August 28 vs. Phillies: Everth Cabrera Bobblehead (FRIARHOOD MEET UP EVENT)

The team made the right move in making a substantial investment in these bobblehead giveaways. Everth is quite possibly the most exciting player on the roster so having his effigy made with a wobbly head is a definite no-brainer. Also, it'll be a huge hit with the ladies.

September 4 vs. Rockies: Aluminum Water Bottles

The “going green” thing is still pretty en vogue, I guess. So it makes sense to offer this. Michael Scott might disagree, however.

September 11 vs. Giants: Patriotic Bags

I wish they included pictures of this. It could either be really cool or really lame.

BEST THEMES

College Nights

Our local fratties and Tri-Delts get discounted tickets on four Fridays throughout the season. Good idea, as long as it’s a good discount, they market it well, and are lax on fake IDs at the concessions.

Throwback Thursdays

I don’t know why, but even in what has traditionally been called “ugly” uniforms, the Padres look fantastic in these. Whichever game is the 1984 game is #1 on my list.

Military Nights

There’s a night dedicated to each facet of the Armed Forces. Very classy.

That’s it. Loyal readers, what are YOUR favorites?

* I didn’t go over the Kids giveaways because they’re all cool and I don’t have kids and I’m jealous of their sweet giveaways. Like the slinky!